Uncomfortable seating for two.
If I had a gun for every time I saw a “smart car” or as I like to call it “you obviously don’t have a fucking brain car” I would not be writing this because being convicted for multiple counts of murder in the first degree has consequences.
Why would someone buy a car with down syndrome? This is what the smart car consumers are saying:
1.) “I have no friends, so I don’t have to worry about anyone seeing me driving around town”
This is reason #1 as to why you have no friends. Sell the car, and use that money to buy shit for strangers. Some of them might end up developing a feelings of mild liking toward you and overlook the fact you lack a personality and opinions. But once you run out of money, you’re on your own.
2.) “I don’t like to get laid, so why should I put out for a car that people will respect me in?”
So I wont shoot you in the face you asexual piece of shit.
3.) “I was on a bad batch of meth”
You’re excused.
I had a hard time finding any articles or websites advocating Smart cars. Mostly because it’s difficult to advocate something that has as many positive qualities as a malignant tumor. However, edmunds.com tried. Here is what I pulled right off their website:
“1) It’s cute. When it comes to car-buying, this isn’t a factor to be ignored. Remember how popular the VW New Beetle was when it first came out?
2) It’s efficient. Yes, you’d hope it’d do better. But it still gets 33 mpg city and 41 mpg highway, which is better than just about every other car out there.
3) It’s inexpensive. Yes, the value equation is pretty poor for a Smart Fortwo. But a base Passion coupe like ours lists at $13,590. That’s not a whole lot of cash for a new car.
4) It draws lots of attention. I’ve had more people come up to me in this car asking questions than anything else in recent memory. People notice Ferraris and such, but there’s an aura of elitism that keeps them away. Because of reasons one through three, people feel comfortable talking to you. Guys want to know about it. Girls smile at you.
5) It can be fun. This is mostly a combination of all the elements above. A Corolla is a better car, but buying a car is rarely just about functionality.”
Hahahaha. Ok ok this is going to be fun.
Let’s condense and compress this article a little here, because “reasons” 1, 4, and 5 are exactly the same. But hell, I’ll take it from the top.
Reason 1 – It’s cute? No. It’s small. Just because something is impractical and small does not make it cute (see figure 1) And the VW Beetle still sucks, it always has and it always will. The only reason that car still exists is because the mid life crisis, poor decisions, and hippies still exist.
Figure 1 - small, not "cute"
Reason 2 – It’s efficient. Sure, i’ll give you that. But here are some other things that are efficient that consumers/people tend to avoid:
1.) suicide
2.) rape
3.) nuclear war
I hope your dignity was worth every 41 of those highway miles.
Reason 3 – It’s cheap. You’re cheap.
Reason 4 – It draws a lot of attention. As do amputees, fat girls, and drive by shootings. Guys want to know how the operation went, and girls smile because they’re silently judging you.
Reason 5 – Good point, why buy a better car when you don’t have to! I just threw up in my mouth. I have to go.
